Why Men Should Sit To Pee

Set your historical concepts of manhood aside for a few minutes, and bear with me.

As someone who has peed standing-up for as long as he can remember, I had never questioned it. Micturition, or the act of urinating, wasn't really brought up at the dinner table or with friends at school. We probably had a few locker room convos during high school about how people wipe their butts differently, but peeing mechanics were never broached.

The act is simple: raise the toilet seat, piss, lower the toilet seat... and the lid because I wanted my four sisters to have to lift something too. Yes, I was a petty child at times.

To cis-men: why do so many of us pee standing up? Perhaps because we were taught to do so; because that's what men do and women sit to pee. But let's take an honest look at this phenomenon and ask ourselves if standing up to pee is truly effective.

Back in January 2020, my then-partner used to joke that if I wanted to do an extended stay in her apartment, I'd have to sit to pee. I repeat: this was indeed a joke. I like to think of myself as a top-tier urinator, or, at the very least, as someone who can clean up after myself when there are some inevitable misses. But I decided to entertain her joke and actually pee sitting down. What I "discovered" changed me, so here's why I now always sit to pee.

  1. It's faster than standing to pee... if you aren't disgusting and completely inconsiderate. Yes yes, it is quicker to drop those draws to your ankles, sit down, and pee. If you're standing to pee, you will certainly miss occasionally, getting a little or a lot of urine on the toilet rim, under the seat connector, and/or on the floor. As a nasty man, you can simply walk away at that moment, making standing to pee slightly quicker. But if you aren't a degenerate, you grab some toilet paper and clean it up. Simple enough, right? Nevertheless, it's still pretty gross, and that time starts to add up, making the timing comparable to sitting or slower. (Note: I did not run an RCT (randomized controlled trial) to suss out the timing so leave me alone.) I didn't even factor in the time it takes to raise and lower the seat before and after you pee when you live with anyone with a vagina.
  2. Even if you're an elite-standing pisser, you will still be wiping sometimes. Idk the physics of it, but sometimes, when that stream is diving nicely into the toilet water from that height and angle, it splashes up onto the seat and floor. Not to mention the good ole split stream that unexpectedly makes wiping up after yourself 10x worse. Again, you'll be cleaning or you is nasty.
  3. For all you meatheads: Get in an extra squat. Every day is leg day, so you might as well get in an additional "squat to bench" throughout your day.
  4. It could improve prostate health. Research indicates that sitting to pee may affect urodynamics (the dynamics of uro) positively, allowing one to more fully empty their bladder. Empty bladders with smooth urine flow equal a better you. ¹ ²
How this could refute point 1

Given that you can more fully empty your bladder, it may take longer to pee because you are releasing more urine. But maybe you save time in the long run by having to pee less often. As always, further research is needed.

  1. Poppin sex life anyone? Okay, it won't make you elite in bed, but some not so conclusive research, probably your favorite, points to the possibility of improved sexual performance. This is the case due to a decrease in prostate and urinary tract issues that can negatively affect your performance. ³
  2. It's better for public health. The reduction of pissy floors can lead to better public health outcomes by reducing the ability of nasty bacteria to grow in highly trafficked areas like restrooms. With that said, I have been and will continue to urinate standing in public restrooms— I'm not there yet and I know my tone throughout has been judgy but I'm not perfect and public restrooms are gross.

I hope I make a solid case for us Western cis-men to join most of our Asian counterparts in sitting down to pee. I've given you a few reasons why you should: it can be cleaner, healthier, and more efficient. But after reading this, why might you not sit to pee (at least at home)? As we continually challenge gender-based issues in our society, it may be of use to rethink our rooted perceptions of “manly” behaviors. Should standing to pee be on that list? No better place to reflect on that than on the toilet.

One caveat: when I started this, it was a huge shift for my brain. Throughout my life, sitting on the toilet told my brain, "here comes a #2". So my body kept trying to poop every time I sat down. But take solace in knowing that your brain can unlearn that wiring. You will level up your body's waste removal in no time. Join me in increasing our leg gains throughout the day!

Happy Rethinking 🎊 🤔

P.s.

Posture on the toilet might matter too, my friends, for all homo sapiens. But that conversation is for another time.